My Immortal
by Ecchi-chan
Summary: What if Tsuzuki had died in Touda's flames? Hisoka must fix the pieces of his broken heart. Songfic to My Immortal... I dun own Yami no Matsuei or the song 'My Immortal'


**My Immortal**

_My immortal  
I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
_

Green eyes closed as sakura petals danced around a pale figure.  It had been two weeks since He had been eaten up by the flames; by the darkness in His own heart.   Hisoka found himself jumping at childish things; a shadows passing or a flick of something.  He didn't understand; He was immortal to him. He was too innocent to die- to innocent to commit suicide, He was immortal to the blonde.

_And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
Because your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone   
  
_

The cold wind chilled the small frame and the lithe blonde heading to the office, to his and Tsuzuki's office.  Stepping into the room and closing the door he froze upon seeing His trenchcoat laying lazily on the back of a chair; candy wrapper still laying on His desk.  Hisoka walked slowly to the coat and picked it up carefully in his arms; the boy brough it to his face and took a deep inhale.  He breathed in His smell and sighed contently.  His presence was still here; in his room and Hisoka would stay until he left.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_  
  


 It was childish to not say his name even in thought but he couldn't face it- not yet.  It was too soon and his emotional wounds seems not to feel; it was the first time he had ever felt lost becuase He was the first person to love him.  Hisoka had to many memories of his smiling face to forget him.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me  
  
_

He remembered all the times He was cried in front of him; Hisoka had always wiped them away.  He remembered when he woken up at night by His screams the boy had promised silently to himself he would wipe away his tears.  Knowing Him had seems like years had gone by and Hisoka was always by his side; helping him, loving him from distance.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
_

He used to keep the boy in rapture just by smiling; He had a light inside him that seemed to never go out.  But candles always go out.  He was dead and Hisoka was left to pick up the pieces and wounded hearts.  He had touched so many people and now Hisoka had to pay the price.

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

He often dreamed of His smiling face and his once pleasent dreams had turns to nightnare. Hisoka used to dreams of things he would say when one of them confesed their love for each other.  The blonde had often heard the brunette cried out for him in his waking days; Hisoka saw himself turning more and more to insanity each time he heard His voice.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
_

Hisoka could not see a time in future when these wound affected by the lose of the only person he loved would close.  The pain was so strong just like his love for Him, even if Hisoka would live forever; which he would, he would never forget Him.  Time could never erase these broken feelings.  Hisoka never even told Him he loved Him.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me  
  
_

If only; if only if he had wiped away his tears more often when he broke down in front of him like he did so often.  If only he was held him more tightly as His memories washed over him like molasses; if he had only held his hand; if only if he had kissed him; if only; if only.  if only if he told Him he loved Him with all his heart perhaps he would be here to day; holding him, kissing him.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
And though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_  
  
  


Hisoka had tried to tell himself that He was gone but that was so hard when he felt him still.  When in his hands he held him coat that he wore so proudly.  Looking at His desk he found a rotten apple; perhaps this is what broke him because Hisoka found himself on the floor, tears seeping throught tightly closed eyes.  The apple was rotten; dead and so was He. He had been alone all along and he would stay alone because He- Tsuzuki he finally thought was dead; gone.  

I love you Tsuzuki, green eyes said as they stared out at the fallen sakura petals.


End file.
